Hi, I’m Valerie!
I AM Heart & Soul Healing; an intuitive energy worker, spiritual healer, contemporary shaman and practical mystic. I have made the journey from surviving to thriving, moving from coping with an existence shaped by trauma into a life of purpose and abundance. I believe we each travel our own unique journey to wholeness, but we need not do it alone! This is why I created Heart & Soul Healing. It is my passion and purpose to assist you in integrating the pieces of Body, Mind and Spirit that have been fractured by trauma, conditioning and the human experience.
I AM Heart & Soul Healing; an intuitive energy worker, spiritual healer, contemporary shaman and practical mystic. I have made the journey from surviving to thriving, moving from coping with an existence shaped by trauma into a life of purpose and abundance. I believe we each travel our own unique journey to wholeness, but we need not do it alone! This is why I created Heart & Soul Healing. It is my passion and purpose to assist you in integrating the pieces of Body, Mind and Spirit that have been fractured by trauma, conditioning and the human experience.
My Journey from Dark Night of the Soul Into the Light
My transformation began nearly 15 years ago. At the time I was a middle school science teacher, living and working in Northern Minnesota. I was a proclaimed agnostic, married to an atheist, and living a life that was scientific and pragmatic. My only faith was in the scientific method, evolution, and my own intellect. I had all the elements of "success"; a flourishing career, a lovely home, a husband, and a child that I adored.
I was also filled with depression and anxiety. I lived with a constant, nagging sense that there was something "wrong" with me. I should be happy! Conventional wisdom and medical practice dictated therapy. When therapy wasn't effective, medication was prescribed. When that didn't work, I was prescribed higher doses and additional medications. Looking back on that time, I'm amazed that I managed to function at all. I was numb. The depression and anxiety were subdued, but so was everything else. There was no real happiness, vitality or joy.
Crisis #1 - Body
My life wasn’t working; career, home, marriage, family, friends. All these physical aspects of being, extensions of the soul’s body, looked good on the surface, but they were no longer in alignment with my true self. The longer I refused to recognize this, the more my actual body deteriorated. What begin as aching feet developed into chronic conditions and constant pain in my feet, ankles and knees. Being scientific, I followed the medical advice. I saw chiropractors, physical therapists, and podiatrists. I submitted to custom orthotics, braces, injections, anti-inflammatory drugs, orthoscopic surgery, and finally a major reconstructive surgery on my right leg. The surgeon was so enthusiastic! He was certain that this surgery would be transformative, that I would be eager to repeat the procedure on the left side.
The surgery was transformative, but not in the way the he predicted. Cutting so deeply into my body released trauma that had been stored there for decades. As I lay at home recovering, I felt something had fundamentally shifted. It was like blinders had dropped from my eyes and I could no longer deny what I was seeing. My only child had left and my marriage was a mess. The career, home and life I had worked so hard to build turned out to be not worth the price I was paying. Everything was going to have to change. As I began the slow process of healing my body, I also began the greater journey of recovering from trauma.
Crisis #2 – Mind
Over the next five years I began exploring alternative ways to heal my body. The last thing I wanted was another surgery! (I didn’t have the understanding or language yet, but that had been another form of trauma.) I also delved deeply into therapy. I had been going to therapy for years as a way of coping, trying to fix what was "wrong with me". Now I was finally ready to really look at what had happened to me. I couldn’t see it yet, but I knew it was there.
My transformation had begun, but I was still out of balance. I lived in total reliance on my intellect, existing completely in my head. I had unwavering faith in my ability to figure things out. Certain that there was a definitive truth, and I was sure to discover it if I just had all the pieces! I dug and probed the past trying to force it to give up its secrets. With this work came fierce anxiety, insomnia, nightmares and memories that bubbled up seemingly from nowhere. Most were innocent, childish things like songs, stories, and games. But my subconscious was opening up.
And then one Sunday afternoon I had my first flashback. I was shook up, but undaunted. I had survived this long with faith in nothing but my intellect and “the facts”. My ability to think things through was SO strong. By now I knew just enough about trauma to be dangerous. I had identified the triggers, and I intentionally recreated them. I remember thinking, “If this is how it works, then bring it on! Let’s get it done!”
I somehow survived the next 5 days of hell, alone in my cabin in the woods, before admitting I was not okay, and I couldn’t do this by myself. If these flashbacks were real, if these horrible memories were real things that had happened to me, then how did I know what reality even was anymore? Everything was suddenly in doubt. People weren’t who I thought they were. My life wasn’t what I thought it had been. I could trust no one and nothing, not even myself.
Next, the hospital psychiatric ward. (More trauma.) This was my deepest, core fear. During admission I experienced such anxiety and panic that I lost my vision. After ten days and some pharmaceuticals the doctors decided I was “stabilized” and released me. I knew going home alone, back to my cabin in the woods, was not a safe option, let alone going back to work. I felt anything but stable. Desperate, I allowed a friend to care for me, to take me in, while I figured out what to do next. And for the first time in my life, I prayed. Not to some god in a cloud in the sky, but to something greater than myself, the Universe, some undefined greater power; I asked for help. And I got it.
That’s how I found myself in southern California. The next nine months were spent in intensive, inpatient and outpatient treatment and multiple therapies for what was diagnosed as delayed-onset complex PTSD. I underwent CBT, DBT, EFT, EMDR, acupuncture, bio-neurofeedback, and something called “reiki”. I learned to do yoga, meditate, chant, and recite affirmations; there was nothing I wouldn’t try. And slowly I began to reassemble the pieces of my shattered mind.
Crisis #3 – Spirit
That Autumn everything that had previously defined me came to an end. My home was sold, my marriage ended in divorce, and my teaching career was over, along with all the friendships that went with them. All I had left that I cared about was my child and infant grandson. So, I decided to move to back to the midwest to be with them.
I thought I had survived the worst. I had not only survived multiple childhood traumas, but religious trauma, rape, domestic, emotional and psychological abuse, and medical trauma but the horrendous, traumatizing task of healing my body and reassembling my mind. I had learned so much and gained so many tools to take care of myself. I would continue to survive.
Perhaps it was the cultural and environmental shock of leaving southern California for Northern Minnesota just as winter was setting in. Or more likely, it was family I stayed with for two months while I settled my affairs. But I quickly lost hold of all my gains. For years afterwards I could only describe this time in my life with vague terms of loss and confusion. I didn’t know what had happened, only that I had “gone away somewhere”. My vital essence was cut off. Like a fish unaware of the life-giving water that buoys it up, ever-present yet unseen, I lost the spirit that had kept me going. In my earlier crises I had feared what it meant to keep living. Now I only wanted the release of death.
I eventually made it to Fargo, moving in with my daughter and grandson, but only lasted a couple of weeks before I was back in the hospital. This episode made everything else feel like a picnic. But this time, while in out-patient treatment, I began to finally hear what I had been missing. There is more to life than what is seen, more to living than outer circumstances. Despite my trauma-induced distrust of religion, I began to discover true spirituality. Meditation took on new dimensions. Other tools I had learned became richer with meaning. No longer just methods to help me cope and feel better, they grew into spiritual practices on which I thrived.
From Surviving to Thriving
I now know, appreciate and am grateful for the life-giving water that buoys and supports me; Universal Life Energy. Now that I am consciously aware of its Presence, I have learned to nurture and trust it, and to receive its gifts. It is what sustains me, in my life, in my purpose and in my passion, which is to show others a way to transition from surviving to thriving, with ease and grace. It doesn't have to be a crisis!
Your journey is as unique as you are. But I have traveled my path, and I know my truth. And as I know this for myself, I know it for each trauma survivor. There is not only hope, but light! It can be hard to see that light when you are in physical, mental or spiritual pain. But I can see and hold that Light for you until you can see it for yourself. You don't have to wait for a crisis of body, mind or spirit to begin now.
My transformation began nearly 15 years ago. At the time I was a middle school science teacher, living and working in Northern Minnesota. I was a proclaimed agnostic, married to an atheist, and living a life that was scientific and pragmatic. My only faith was in the scientific method, evolution, and my own intellect. I had all the elements of "success"; a flourishing career, a lovely home, a husband, and a child that I adored.
I was also filled with depression and anxiety. I lived with a constant, nagging sense that there was something "wrong" with me. I should be happy! Conventional wisdom and medical practice dictated therapy. When therapy wasn't effective, medication was prescribed. When that didn't work, I was prescribed higher doses and additional medications. Looking back on that time, I'm amazed that I managed to function at all. I was numb. The depression and anxiety were subdued, but so was everything else. There was no real happiness, vitality or joy.
Crisis #1 - Body
My life wasn’t working; career, home, marriage, family, friends. All these physical aspects of being, extensions of the soul’s body, looked good on the surface, but they were no longer in alignment with my true self. The longer I refused to recognize this, the more my actual body deteriorated. What begin as aching feet developed into chronic conditions and constant pain in my feet, ankles and knees. Being scientific, I followed the medical advice. I saw chiropractors, physical therapists, and podiatrists. I submitted to custom orthotics, braces, injections, anti-inflammatory drugs, orthoscopic surgery, and finally a major reconstructive surgery on my right leg. The surgeon was so enthusiastic! He was certain that this surgery would be transformative, that I would be eager to repeat the procedure on the left side.
The surgery was transformative, but not in the way the he predicted. Cutting so deeply into my body released trauma that had been stored there for decades. As I lay at home recovering, I felt something had fundamentally shifted. It was like blinders had dropped from my eyes and I could no longer deny what I was seeing. My only child had left and my marriage was a mess. The career, home and life I had worked so hard to build turned out to be not worth the price I was paying. Everything was going to have to change. As I began the slow process of healing my body, I also began the greater journey of recovering from trauma.
Crisis #2 – Mind
Over the next five years I began exploring alternative ways to heal my body. The last thing I wanted was another surgery! (I didn’t have the understanding or language yet, but that had been another form of trauma.) I also delved deeply into therapy. I had been going to therapy for years as a way of coping, trying to fix what was "wrong with me". Now I was finally ready to really look at what had happened to me. I couldn’t see it yet, but I knew it was there.
My transformation had begun, but I was still out of balance. I lived in total reliance on my intellect, existing completely in my head. I had unwavering faith in my ability to figure things out. Certain that there was a definitive truth, and I was sure to discover it if I just had all the pieces! I dug and probed the past trying to force it to give up its secrets. With this work came fierce anxiety, insomnia, nightmares and memories that bubbled up seemingly from nowhere. Most were innocent, childish things like songs, stories, and games. But my subconscious was opening up.
And then one Sunday afternoon I had my first flashback. I was shook up, but undaunted. I had survived this long with faith in nothing but my intellect and “the facts”. My ability to think things through was SO strong. By now I knew just enough about trauma to be dangerous. I had identified the triggers, and I intentionally recreated them. I remember thinking, “If this is how it works, then bring it on! Let’s get it done!”
I somehow survived the next 5 days of hell, alone in my cabin in the woods, before admitting I was not okay, and I couldn’t do this by myself. If these flashbacks were real, if these horrible memories were real things that had happened to me, then how did I know what reality even was anymore? Everything was suddenly in doubt. People weren’t who I thought they were. My life wasn’t what I thought it had been. I could trust no one and nothing, not even myself.
Next, the hospital psychiatric ward. (More trauma.) This was my deepest, core fear. During admission I experienced such anxiety and panic that I lost my vision. After ten days and some pharmaceuticals the doctors decided I was “stabilized” and released me. I knew going home alone, back to my cabin in the woods, was not a safe option, let alone going back to work. I felt anything but stable. Desperate, I allowed a friend to care for me, to take me in, while I figured out what to do next. And for the first time in my life, I prayed. Not to some god in a cloud in the sky, but to something greater than myself, the Universe, some undefined greater power; I asked for help. And I got it.
That’s how I found myself in southern California. The next nine months were spent in intensive, inpatient and outpatient treatment and multiple therapies for what was diagnosed as delayed-onset complex PTSD. I underwent CBT, DBT, EFT, EMDR, acupuncture, bio-neurofeedback, and something called “reiki”. I learned to do yoga, meditate, chant, and recite affirmations; there was nothing I wouldn’t try. And slowly I began to reassemble the pieces of my shattered mind.
Crisis #3 – Spirit
That Autumn everything that had previously defined me came to an end. My home was sold, my marriage ended in divorce, and my teaching career was over, along with all the friendships that went with them. All I had left that I cared about was my child and infant grandson. So, I decided to move to back to the midwest to be with them.
I thought I had survived the worst. I had not only survived multiple childhood traumas, but religious trauma, rape, domestic, emotional and psychological abuse, and medical trauma but the horrendous, traumatizing task of healing my body and reassembling my mind. I had learned so much and gained so many tools to take care of myself. I would continue to survive.
Perhaps it was the cultural and environmental shock of leaving southern California for Northern Minnesota just as winter was setting in. Or more likely, it was family I stayed with for two months while I settled my affairs. But I quickly lost hold of all my gains. For years afterwards I could only describe this time in my life with vague terms of loss and confusion. I didn’t know what had happened, only that I had “gone away somewhere”. My vital essence was cut off. Like a fish unaware of the life-giving water that buoys it up, ever-present yet unseen, I lost the spirit that had kept me going. In my earlier crises I had feared what it meant to keep living. Now I only wanted the release of death.
I eventually made it to Fargo, moving in with my daughter and grandson, but only lasted a couple of weeks before I was back in the hospital. This episode made everything else feel like a picnic. But this time, while in out-patient treatment, I began to finally hear what I had been missing. There is more to life than what is seen, more to living than outer circumstances. Despite my trauma-induced distrust of religion, I began to discover true spirituality. Meditation took on new dimensions. Other tools I had learned became richer with meaning. No longer just methods to help me cope and feel better, they grew into spiritual practices on which I thrived.
From Surviving to Thriving
I now know, appreciate and am grateful for the life-giving water that buoys and supports me; Universal Life Energy. Now that I am consciously aware of its Presence, I have learned to nurture and trust it, and to receive its gifts. It is what sustains me, in my life, in my purpose and in my passion, which is to show others a way to transition from surviving to thriving, with ease and grace. It doesn't have to be a crisis!
Your journey is as unique as you are. But I have traveled my path, and I know my truth. And as I know this for myself, I know it for each trauma survivor. There is not only hope, but light! It can be hard to see that light when you are in physical, mental or spiritual pain. But I can see and hold that Light for you until you can see it for yourself. You don't have to wait for a crisis of body, mind or spirit to begin now.
16 Pertinent (and Impertinent!) Things about Me
1. I used to live on 40 acres in an off-grid, solar home in the Superior National Forest of Minnesota, adjacent to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness.
2. For twenty years I was a public middle school and high school teacher of Physical, Earth and Environmental science.
3. Following an intuitive call, I sold nearly everything I owned and moved to California in 2017. Then I did it again in 2024, moving to Hot Springs, SD!
4. Like renowned healer and author Louise Hay, I am a licensed Science of Mind Practitioner,.
5. I did my first healing for a friend at Girl Scout camp when I was 8 years old.
6. I was raised Wiccan, both parents being ordained as Druidic High-Priest/Priestess.
2. For twenty years I was a public middle school and high school teacher of Physical, Earth and Environmental science.
3. Following an intuitive call, I sold nearly everything I owned and moved to California in 2017. Then I did it again in 2024, moving to Hot Springs, SD!
4. Like renowned healer and author Louise Hay, I am a licensed Science of Mind Practitioner,.
5. I did my first healing for a friend at Girl Scout camp when I was 8 years old.
6. I was raised Wiccan, both parents being ordained as Druidic High-Priest/Priestess.
7. My favorite fictional character is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. My life sometimes feels like a cyclone has whisked me off to a strange land, and I just want to go home! I've seen some weird shit!
8. I'm a book worm, nerd, and history buff reading tons of sci-fi, historical and literary fiction.
9. I think beets are disgusting!
9. I've spent the last 10+ years recovering from delayed-onset, complex PTSD.
10. In 1993, I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Biology and Science Education.
11. I feel more at home in the woods than in the city.
12. I started collecting interesting rocks when I was 4 and never stopped! I love everything about rocks and crystals, their beauty, history, energy & healing properties.
8. I'm a book worm, nerd, and history buff reading tons of sci-fi, historical and literary fiction.
9. I think beets are disgusting!
9. I've spent the last 10+ years recovering from delayed-onset, complex PTSD.
10. In 1993, I graduated Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Biology and Science Education.
11. I feel more at home in the woods than in the city.
12. I started collecting interesting rocks when I was 4 and never stopped! I love everything about rocks and crystals, their beauty, history, energy & healing properties.
13. My mystical experiences include meeting the spirit of Aurora, the energy body of Mother Earth, and my primary healing guide.
14. I was called by the plant spirit of the Lupine flower to make a flower essence that assists in healing trauma and in higher-self alignment.
15. I have a deep affinity and reverence for Bison, spending hours among the herd in Custer State Park.
16. I hate shoes!
14. I was called by the plant spirit of the Lupine flower to make a flower essence that assists in healing trauma and in higher-self alignment.
15. I have a deep affinity and reverence for Bison, spending hours among the herd in Custer State Park.
16. I hate shoes!
Credentials
Certified Reiki Master Teacher, reflexologist, physical science and biology teacher, and licensed Science of Mind Practitioner.
Trained in modern mysticism, contemporary shamanism, plant essence healing, and advanced consciousness studies.
Certified Reiki Master Teacher, reflexologist, physical science and biology teacher, and licensed Science of Mind Practitioner.
Trained in modern mysticism, contemporary shamanism, plant essence healing, and advanced consciousness studies.