Honoring Ancestors

Many indigenous cultures, most notably those in India and Asia, claim a place for ancestors in the pantheon of deities and spirits to be honored, worshipped and relied upon for assistance and guidance. Recent research in trauma and epigenetics suggests a sound scientific basis for this practice. In his book “It Didn’t Start With You; How inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle”, therapist Mark Wolyn details the story of, among others, a young man struck down at the start of a promising life at age nineteen, by debilitating insomnia. During these sleepless nights he was gripped by violent shivers and the physical sensation of extreme cold, as well as an overpowering fear that if he falls asleep he will never wake again. After investigating and detailing the cellular and neurological mechanisms at work, Wolyn concludes this anecdote with an astonishing discovery. Unbeknownst to him, the young man had an uncle that had died many years before he was born. The loss of this ancestor, struck down at the start of a promising life at just nineteen, was so grievous to the family it was never discussed. He was stranded in a blizzard and froze to death. By recognizing and honoring this ancestor, giving him a voice and returning him to the family as it were, the trauma was released and healed.

I’ve done my own trauma and ancestor work, and it is amazing how strong the grip of inherited trauma can be on all levels; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. With the help of Wolyn’s work and an excellent trauma therapist I now understand my grandmother Edith’s trauma as she lay dying in childbirth and how and why I came to “relive” it. I have felt her anguish at the loss of the child that she never got to hold. I have forged an energetic connection with this young woman, so full of life and promise, that I never got to know. And through that connection, healing has flowed. Healing for me, undoubtedly, and for her, but also for the family, generations past and yet to come. I set out to heal myself, and discovered so much more. Healing is sacred work that spans beyond our limited perception of space and time. It’s effects go far beyond what we can know and healing for one is healing for all.