Sweet Surrender

In my day-today human existence, its nice to feel in control, that I have self-determination. I go about life in the belief that what happens is a direct result of my actions. “If I do A, then B will certainly follow.” It’s empowering to have a plan of action, carry it out, and achieve a goal!

But sometimes life has other plans. This occurred for me recently when I decided to focus my energy on dating and finding a relationship. It had been seven years since my marriage ended, and I simply made up my mind that enough was enough. I threw myself, all my energy and resources, at it for about six months. I won’t go into detail, it’s enough to say that the longer I threw myself into it the more beat up I got. Met at every turn with fiascos, failure and frustration, eventually even my stubborn will was worn down and I woke up to reality. This course of action was a product of my all-too human brain and ego and not in alignment with my authentic self.

It was, of course, a valuable learning experience! A lot of previously hidden wounds were revealed and opened for processing and healing. But the most important thing I (re!)learned was the futility of fighting life’s current. I recently heard a quote from actress Kim Basinger that sums this up nicely. “I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” Call it what you will; intuition, higher self, spirit guide or God, there’s a sweet freedom that comes when I surrender my illusion of control. What a relief to remember that I don’t have to do, know and control it all! I find peace when I can remember to trust in Spirit. I know that it will provide for me in ways far greater than my feeble human mind can even imagine! All I need to do is let go, and let God have its way through me, in me, as me.

And so it is! 🕉